The breakthrough comes only if there is a struggle. There has to be resistance to experience the contrast between "almost" and "beyond". It's a fine line, but the resistance creates its form sharply, like the level of tension of the strings of a guitar spanning from the machine heads over the soundhole to the bridge that determines the pitch at which the air inside the body vibrates and breaks through in finding resonance at a free frequency.
This experience has been challenging, and rewarding, and I justify the challenging by the reward. I so badly want to grow, to be better than right now. Only I know, I can only be here in the now. That is all there really is. Monica said "I’ve read the book. So go on, you ain’t teaching anything new". Monica is one of my Kula members, Kula means family or community in Sanskrit, and she is my sister from another land that teaches at the same studio as I do. She would remind me that at times perhaps my courage is better left... within. Somehow, when the words descended into my body, it was like the sound coming from a tightly spanned guitar string: it spiraled up a higher vibration that lured my courage to flow….. without.
This experience has been challenging, and rewarding, and I justify the challenging by the reward. I so badly want to grow, to be better than right now. Only I know, I can only be here in the now. That is all there really is. Monica said "I’ve read the book. So go on, you ain’t teaching anything new". Monica is one of my Kula members, Kula means family or community in Sanskrit, and she is my sister from another land that teaches at the same studio as I do. She would remind me that at times perhaps my courage is better left... within. Somehow, when the words descended into my body, it was like the sound coming from a tightly spanned guitar string: it spiraled up a higher vibration that lured my courage to flow….. without.
When the "From the Hips to the Hop Workshop" ended on Sunday night, a huge weight of responsibility rolled off my spine, well I was off to Subway, dinner time. I walk in with my Freedom support pillar Lawrence Pradhan, with whom I not only share my name, but more so, the passion of creation and in whom I find resonance at whichever frequency he plays the guitar. I order a sandwich “cut the bun all the way through please”, they normally do a taco style half cut to stuff it, I like it stacked. I won’t eat Subway meat, so I normally order the veggie delight, with the veggie patty- “please don’t microwave the patty, toast it, with the bun, no, no not on the bun, beside it, yeah, thanks” 45 seconds later, the bread and patty rolled out of the toaster, “will you please, spread the mayo” that’s right I eat mayo,”yes spread across the top half with a knife, right there, there’s a glob, spread that out, thanks, perfect.” I know exactly what I want and how I want it.
The distribution of energy is very much like the spreading of the mayo on the bun, we only have so much of it, and we want to make the most of what we have. The globs are like packets of energy that we let go unspread, unmentioned; just like taboos, ideas and notions that have been deemed immoral social customs.
The way I directed the sandwich-creation exercise can be seen to be laborsome to the naked eye. Even after two years of an average sandwich, every two months it’s always a surprise to those sandwich creators and the spectators in line. This time was different because of my company, Lawrence, who not only found the process innovative, but decided to apply my sandwich-making directions to re-create his own sandwich, re-creating the average into something non-average: I led the way for re-creation to happen in his Subway sandwich-creation life.
Freedom Yoga is just like giving sandwich-creation instructions. No, not bad analogies, but it’s the truth, it’s in the specifics, and it’s asking explicitly for what it is that you want, that, - although it may not seem so -, extends beyond one's individual benefit directly affecting the collective. The sandwich-making creatorship is a skill-developing exercise: it’s important to speak your mind and shine a light toward others to having the courage to speak their mind.
It is not easy to guide the sandwich-artists to follow a routine that I re-created, because it is completely different from what they create. But I do it, because it makes a difference to me, the output is greater than if I were to remain silent. That would be a glob, and I’m looking to spread all the taboos out. My natural instinct is to be a rebellion: to destroy only to re-create, to find a new shape in an update of yesterday’s idea. I don’t believe in right or wrong, I believe in the moment, in making the most, while staying tuned in to the climate that is revolving. What Hong Kong and creating Freedom Yoga here has taught me is skillfulness, and finesse; physically, verbally, and mentally.
I step away from my first ten weeks with the Freedom concept, only with the intention to re-create it again. I plan on making the expression of energy expand, spreading it out like mayo and where I find globs I will expose them. That’s the point to unleash taboos, to find a way to get skillful. We have established a base, and now we can re-create it, without destroying our foundation.
I feel we can, as the rebellion turns to pride, and the pride dissolves into a deep sense of maturity. Phase one has ended brightly, phase two will explore how light meets shadow on the journey that travels through the untouched territory of mysterious but adventurous obscurity.
To be continued.
We’re going somewhere.
editor-Rani Kamaruddin
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